Caillou’s Mommy and Daddy, Her Especially

I encourage my daughter to watch Caillou. It’s a gentle show about a 4-year-old boy who, like most any toddler, finds adventure in everyday life. So, he has an annoying voice and manner of speech — not authentically childlike. It’s a relatively minor grating element in a show about discovering the joy of planting a tree or making music or sailing in a boat or just plain old playing. It sure beats that psychedelic Noddy, a Pinocchio lookalike in an eerily unsettling toyland who once had insomnia and drove his wee car off the road. Guess I have to catch the little girl up on Disney characters, because she saw a picture of Pinocchio and said, “Noddy!” (And whose bright idea was it to give an addictive children’s character a name that sounds like “naughty?” I digress.)

Anyway, Caillou’s dad is something of a eunuch who can barely change a lightbulb himself and carries a man-purselike diaper bag for Rosie, the little sister. The fact he carries such a bag, however, is but one small indicator of what a nice, involved father he is.

What annoys me about the father, and even more so the mother, is that these people are completely unflappable, tirelessly creative parents. They never show the least amount of frustratation, despite operating a household with an almost-toddler girl and a preschool-age boy. There’s never the slightest edge to any adult’s voice in this show, no one ever asks, while trying to cook or speak to another adult for a second, “What is it, Caillou?” (Nice Mr. Alan on Sesame Street becomes audibly annoyed with Elmo’s incessant interruptions on the “Ready for School” DVD,’ indeed asking, “What is it, Elmo?” Yay Sesame Street.) No one ever says, “Please stop whining, Caillou.” And Caillou whines a lot.

The mom and dad always are ready with a clever distraction when Caillou is upset or disappointed, and it works every time. Caillou’s complaining because Rosie is taking a nap and Mommy asks him and best pal Leo to play quietly with their rockets. What does Mommy do? She suggests a space walk, which is quiet, and helps them with it! And Caillou goes for it, bigtime! She never misses a beat with these ideas and never lacks for one. The woman is a walking moms-tip page from Parenting magazine. (Not from Cookie magazine, however, which targets real and wouldbe “stylish” moms.)

Caillou’s parents have responsible, patient, equally creative babysitters at the ready. Upset you can’t go to dinner with Mommy and Daddy, Caillou? Here, the babysitter says! Let’s play restaurant! You make a menu and I’ll take your order. Hee hee, laughs Caillou. Disappoined the band in the gazebo in the park isn’t there today? Let’s make our own instruments and play them there, Grandma says. Wee!

Maybe my problem with Caillou’s mom is bigger than her wellspring of creative distractions. She is always relaxed and confident, never hurried, never needs to tell Caillou they’re running late and he needs to cease his exciting childhood adventure of the moment to get into his car seat, keeps a tidy home apparently without expending any effort to do so, and never needs to put aside anything when her children require her attention. When Mr. Hinkle the next door neighbor has a cold, Caillou asks if they can make soup for him, and Mommy says, “Good idea!” Is she just standing around, waiting for Caillou to give her something to do? Is there not a checkbook or bill she must put down first?

The dad shows a moment of selfish parental humanity in the sleep episode, in which the parents must repeatedly return Caillou to his own room. (The little girl and I both watched that episode with rapt attention.) While Mommy patiently escorts Caillou out the door, Daddy, with some gusto, covers himself with a blanket and turns on his side, back to door. I had to laugh to myself.

I wonder whether Caillou, the show, is meant as much to be a how-to primer for parents of toddlers — with impossibly high standards and tactics that likely aren’t as reliably effective as they are for Caillou’s folks — as it is education and entertainment for the children. Come on, Caillou’s mommy, what are you not telling us?