Clean Up, Clean Up

Dear teenagers or whoever had sex in the playground last night,

Kindly discard your grape-flavored purple condoms in a proper trash receptacle when you have finished. I know it’s grape because you left the wrapper on the ground as well, right next to the red used condom –cherry, perhaps? — that a young child inspected in her hands.

You do know that the playground, with its swings and slides and monkey bars and climbing contraptions, is meant for very young children, including the kind who crawl and toddle and pick things off the ground and explore the world by placing objects in their mouths, don’t you? If you have no other place but a public park in which to copulate, then in the afterglow, please think of others and throw the condom in the trash.

Um, and congrats for practicing safe sex.