If you’re squeamish, not a fan of too much information from others, then skip this post, in which I oxymoronically share too much about my effort to secure some privacy. I’m omitting parts of these scenes because I do maintain a shred or two of dignity and privacy.
Scene I: Bathroom, Saturday morning
A mommy tries to go potty and take a shower. A little girl wants to visit and chat.
Mommy: Privacy please.
Little girl closes the door a wee bit, then re-enters to chat some more.
Mommy: Mommy would like some privacy please. I’ll take a quick shower, then we’ll go to ballet.
As the mommy turns to enter the shower, the little girl inspects her, from a height of 37 inches.
Little Girl: What’s that red stuff on your … ?
Mommy: This is not very private!!!
The mommy gets into the shower.
Little Girl: Mommy, I have to poo. I’ll turn the fan on so it doesn’t stink.
Mommy: Thank you. You’ll have to call Daddy when you need help because Mommy’s taking a shower.
Little Girl: Okay.
She poos. She calls her dad. He enters bathroom. There is conversation.
Mommy: This is the most unprivate bathroom experience! (Or words to that effect.)
Scene II: Bathroom, Saturday night. The mommy again attempts to have some privacy. The little girl has just watched an animated TV show featuring a baby chinchilla, which she has decided is a very cute and cozy animal that she would like to be for a while. The little girl opens the bathroom door and curls into a cute ball outside it.
Mommy: Privacy, please!
Little Girl: Look, Mommy! Aren’t I a cute kinchilla?
Mommy: You’re a very cute kinchilla. Privacy!
The little girl proceeds to explain something to the mommy about privacy, a short monologue the mommy is afraid she can’t quite replicate, to the effect that if people want to talk to you, you don’t have privacy. The mommy interprets these remarks to mean that if people care enough to talk to you, you won’t have privacy, and you’re lucky. The mommy figures she is very blessed to have no privacy, if that means people care enough to want to talk to you, even though she would like a wee bit of bathroom privacy about now. The mommy finishes what she’s doing, again inspected from a height of 37 inches.
Little Girl: What’s that red? How did that get there?
Mommy: It’s my period. I told you about my period.
Little Girl (drawing out her words): But how did it get there?
Mommy: It came out of Mommy.
Little Girl: Like hawt lawva from a volcano?
Momy: Yeah, it is kind of like hot lava from a volcano. … This is not privacy!!!
2 responses so far ↓
Cancer Bitch // August 25, 2009 at 7:04 am |
lock the door!!
mamawhelming // August 25, 2009 at 1:36 pm |
I do that sometimes. With only one bathroom and a preschooler, though, I like to give access in case someone can’t wait for the shower to end, hence the unlocked condition. Plus, a person can make quite a ruckus on the other side of a locked door and sometimes it’s just easier to have it unlocked.